How to Respect Yourself During a Breakup: 10 Steps (with Pictures)

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A break-up is an opportunity to learn, too. For example: So, I want to break up. Communication would have reoriented and fixed things. Meaning, how a person relates to what has happened is usually much more important than the relationship itself.

Emotions and a change of heart are not instantaneous. Or you could make up your own ceremony. You need time away from her to think clearly about the relationship without letting emotions dictate what to think.

11 Things You Shouldn't Do After You Break Up With Someone

Your now ex boyfriend just told you that it's over. You feel hurt, angry, and confused. Maybe you saw it coming or maybe it's out of the blue. No matter what your situation is, it's definitely true that it sucks. Soon you'll be alone and have some time to think things through, but right now, all you need to know is how to get through the next ten minutes. Focus on the air coming in and out of your nose. You could even count your breaths — keep them deep and even. Don't beg or plead for them to take you back or to change their mind. The more you beg, the worse you look, and the less likely you'll be able to salvage any kind of friendship. In the heat of the moment, you're likely to say something that you will later regret. Second of all, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Trying to get them to stay in the relationship, or even just to stay with you physically in the same room will only make you look desperate and it will make them want to leave even more. Don't try to get sexy with them bad idea. Kissing isn't going to make them change their mind, even if it might distract you both from what's happening for a little bit. Let them say everything they want to say. After they're finished talking, ask them if there's anything else they'd like to mention. This shows that you are mature enough to let them have the floor. If you need to, take a few moments to gather your thoughts to respond to what they've said. Remember that you cannot change their mind about the breakup, so in your response, simply try to give your point of view without blaming or insulting them. Keep it as positive and as short as possible. Another option is to say that you'd like to give your point of view but that you're feeling too overwhelmed to do it right now. Ask them if they'd be okay with having a conversation in a couple of days. If you feel like you're getting too emotional to where you can't think straight or you just want to scream at them, ask if you can continue the conversation later. Think about being the kind of person that they'll regret leaving — some crying is normal, but if you're yelling or screaming at them, or insulting them, it's unlikely that will make you look very good. Right now, you're probably really hurt and angry so it may be hard to try to dig out a silver lining. If you can, though, try to thank them for the good times that you had together. Then, once they leave and you get home, you can collapse on your bed and start bawling. Eventually, find forgiveness for them in your heart. It's hard and it may even seem impossible right what to say during a break up, but holding a grudge against them will only hurt you in the end and keep you from having positive dating experiences. I still think we could have a good future together, but I understand you don't see things the same way. I want you to have a happy life. I hope I can still be a part of it somehow, even if we aren't together. I didn't see this coming and — if I'm being honest — it really hurts. But I can't make you do anything you don't want to do. I really care about you and if being with me doesn't make you happy, then I agree that we shouldn't be together. I still care about you a lot and it will make me sad to see you go. Do you think we could talk in a couple of days. I'm not telling you that to make you feel bad. I wish this weren't happening, but I accept that you have a different vision of the future. I think it will be best if we don't talk to each other for a while, so before that happens, I just want to tell you one last time that I do love you and I want only what to say during a break up best things for your life. I know I'm going to be okay but it hurts a lot right now. I hope you understand that I need some time alone. I hope that we can still be friends later on, but right now I don't know. But you don't feel the same way. Sometimes it's very difficult to know why your ex decided to end things. You may feel embarrassed, like you've lost your dignity. Or you might feel messed up, like your world is turned upside down. You might even be so confused that you feel useless. Now that your romantic relationship is over, what else is there. People react differently during breakups. Generally the ones who get hit the hardest are those who are on the receiving end — especially when they didn't see it coming and especially if it was a long-term relationship. Especially if the relationship was very serious, usually the ones who break it off feel pretty bad about it too. But no matter what — you have a choice in how you respond to a breakup. Remember that you want to keep as much of your dignity as possible so you can hold your head high the next time you see your ex. You might be crumbling inside, but they don't have to know that. It doesn't matter if you've gone through lots of breakups or if this is your first one — it's a good idea to be careful in your response. You'll only embarrass yourself if you act dramatically. Also, if you have a meltdown during the breakup — no matter which side you are on — it'll take longer to heal, and there is almost no chance your ex will consider getting back together with you if that is something that you want to do. Here's some more detail on how you can best respond if someone is breaking up with you. Even though in the moment you may feel like you want to disappear, do your best to put on a brave face. At the very least, it will help you keep your dignity in front of the person who's dumping you. When we are in anxiety-producing situations, our body has the tendency to tense up. This may cause you to hold your breath, which makes you feel even more tense and emotional, and so on. Even though it may seem like you're going to lose control if you breathe, let it happen. Focus on the feeling of breath coming in and out of your nose a useful mindfulness techniqueand taking deep breaths and counting them. Accept and respect your ex's decision. You might cry and you will, in fact, feel hurt. What matters, however, is how you react. At first, you just need to listen and make sure your ex knows they have been heard. If you talk a lot, you might say things that you will regret later. Say only what you have to say, not everything that you want to say. You don't need to tell them everything that's on your mind or give them a piece of it. You don't need to tell them how much you're hurting or if they're breaking your heart— they are no longer the person you tell everything. Let them see with their own eyes how strong you are by not allowing yourself to act irrationally or blab on about how much you're going to what to say during a break up them. Remember that you can't force things. You should respect the decision that has already been made, regardless of whether or not you think it's justified. You can't force someone to love you when they no longer do. If they do agree to start dating again, do you think they'll love you the same. Or do you think you will always be in doubt, thinking they are just in the relationship because you begged them to be. Let your ex say everything they need to say. Listen to them and try not to interrupt, even if you're feeling angry or if you feel like what they're saying is wrong. Listening patiently will leave what to say during a break up good last impression which is what you want to leave them with. You'll also be able to be proud of yourself for keeping it together and letting them have their say. If you launch into an attack on them after they've finished talking, you'll just come off looking bad. If you choose to respond to what they say to you which is something that you don't necessarily need to dodo so thoughtfully. Be honest and talk about how you feel and what you think — avoid statements that blame your ex or insult them. Try talking about your relationship from a 3rd-person's point of view. This what to say during a break up help you put things into perspective, both for yourself and for what to say during a break up. Even if you feel like their decision to end things was unjustified, you shouldn't beg for another chance as if your life depends it. The best you can do is tell them why you disagree as reasonably as possible. In the end, if they don't change their mind, you need to accept that the relationship is over. It makes you seem needy and desperate. You will not die if they leave you. Your world will not come to an end even if you love them very very much. People break up and move on with their lives every day — even people who have much more at stake. It may not seem like it now, but you're going to be fine. Besides, there are plenty of guys out there for you to meet. Thank your ex for the time that you've had— even if the relationship is over for good and there is no hope of getting back together. Thank them for the good things that they offered and for the things that you learned with them. This may feel impossible to do right away, and that's understandable. At some point, though, it will be best for you to figure out the things that you liked about your relationship. Remember that there was a reason you two were together in the first place. It didn't just happen randomly. Find and appreciate the good times. Also, telling them that you're grateful for what you had makes you look really good. It shows that you have more in life to live for than the relationship, and that you're going to carry the good what to say during a break up forward with you as you move on. This might seem impossible at first and it might not happen right away. At some point, though, you'll need to forgive them. Holding onto a grudge — no matter how much you were wronged — only does you harm in the end. Perhaps you've heard the comparison of how holding a grudge is like a person holding onto a hot coal in order to throw it at someone else. In the end, only the person holding onto the coal gets burned. Even though it may take time, you need to let your anger go. It will only harm you and will do nothing to them. It will show your ex that you are also capable of moving on and that you don't need them to survive. Though there's nothing wrong with feeling sad and in fact, you should take time to feel through the emotions of a breakupbehaving with dignity with your ex will help you feel stronger, and may even help you get over the breakup faster. It also makes you look good in front of them. The last thing you want is to come off looking pathetic. They'll wonder why you didn't react negatively, which is something many people expect. When you don't beg and plead for them back, you'll show them that you still have a life to live without them and that you're going to be fine. Maybe it was for your own good. There are many people out there that will be a good fit for you. Sometimes there is nothing more that you could have done. Maybe you did everything you could have. Either way — the relationship is over now. Try not to spend too much time rehashing the past. You'll be letting your ex live on in your life when neither of you deserve that. This gives you and your ex-boyfriend both some time to think and recover. Let's be honest — you're probably going to do that a bunch anyways. But whatever you do, don't respond just yet. Don't respond to the text yet and stay off social media. The chance you'll say something that you regret later is pretty high. Write down all of your feelings and what you'd want to say to your ex if you could tell them anything in a journal or a paper letter and do not send it to them. Wait 24 hours until you're feeling a little more level-headed. Texting or calling is good, but it's even better if you hang out with them in person. When you're ready, and you choose to respond which you do not have toyou can text them back. Here are some options for what you could say: This makes me sad to hear. I wish we could have had this conversation in person. I am grateful for the times that we've shared and I wish you all the best. I don't agree with the way you've decided to end things but I'm not going to try to change your mind. This was really shocking for me to see. I know that breaking up is hard but I wish we could have done this in person. I think we could have had a good future, but I respect that you don't see things the same way. Really sad about this — hope you have a good life. Even if you're faking it, it is important that you are polite to them because it shows them that, unlike them, you are not a loser. You are a mature adult who can have what to say during a break up conversations. Then, start the slow process of forgiving them and moving on with your life. You're an awesome girl and your ex doesn't deserve any more of your time. Let yourself be sad, angry, hurt, shocked, heartbroken. Don't try to suppress the emotions. They need to be felt and appreciated. They are real, and what you had was real. Listen to sad breakup songs, watch sad breakup movies avoid romances. Journaling is a great tool for you to better understand how you what to say during a break up. Make a commitment to journal every day even if you don't feel like it and even if you just end up writing their name over and over again. Another helpful tool is writing letters to them that you don't end up sending. It's a way to trick your mind into getting closure. Even though you might be hurting right now — and even if it's better that you're broken up — don't forget that there were good things about your relationship. Don't let yourself become bitter. It will only hurt you in the end. Ceremonies can be powerful tools to help recover from heartbreak. You could do something like write their name on a piece of paper and then say all of the things that you loved about them, and all the things that you hated about them. Or you could make up your own ceremony. Hide their pictures and mementos or give them to a friend for safekeeping — sometimes they're nice to have later on and you'll regret destroying them. Unfriend, unfollow, and block them from social media. You do not need to know what's happening in their lives. Do not call them, text them, email them, bump into them, or otherwise try to contact them for as long as you need to many people say 30 days. You don't have to just ghost either — you could tell them that you need some space from them for what to say during a break up while and that you'll reach out when you're ready if you want to. Hang out with your pals and with the people that love you. They want to support you and help you through this, especially right at the beginning. Let yourself lean on their shoulders. You've probably heard this a million times, but that's because it's true. Get enough sleep 8 hours every night. Even if you want to curl up and die, your body still needs you to take care of it. You might not feel like it, but just go through the motions at first and trust that eventually you will feel better. You could also try meditating — start with just one minute and try to work your way up to 10 minutes, adding one minute every day. This will help you learn how to sit with your emotions and tune into what your body is feeling. Invite your friends to do something new together. Try a new hobby or get back into an old one. Making new memories will help you get started on a new life without your ex. Also, try volunteering or doing something nice for a friend or family member — a great way to forget about how miserable you are is by helping others. In time, find a place in your heart to what to say during a break up your ex. Remember that, like you, they are just human and just trying to do the best they can. Whether or not you think they were in the right for breaking up with you, what has happened has happened, and the only thing you can do is appreciate what you had together and move forward into the future. Maybe you're mad at yourself for not seeing the breakup coming, for not trying hard enough, for hurting them, or for making the same relationship mistakes that you've made before. No what to say during a break up what — you need to forgive yourself too. Take what you can from this past relationship and learn from it. Know that you are also imperfect and just trying to do your best. You should know that you deserve wonderful relationships full of love, and that you are capable of achieving them. It shows he doesn't respect you as his girlfriend. The fact he says he wants freedom indicates you are obstructing him from talking to other girls. He wants to flirt with girls however he wants while still in a relationship with you. Once a person commits in a relationship, there are some things he needs to stop doing. He is no longer single with no strings attached. But, the fact is that he considers you as a jail whereby he can't breathe or move. If your boyfriend lacks respect for who you are in his life, then why bother to continue in the relationship with him. Let him know you no longer want anything to do with him - the relationship is over. You should settle with a man who respects you and understands that some things or behaviors need to be done away once committed in a relationship. He might have been a nice guy and you've been in the relationship for long; but remember people change and they develop a different perspective pertaining to relationship. I hope you will find your feet and move on. Don't cling to the fact he is still the nice guy you knew. From your description, it appears your boyfriend has ended the relationship because you have prioritized your family above him. However, he has gone to such an extreme in insulting you in such a manner considering you've been in the relationship for 20 years. Don't respond in anger nor use abusive words as a retaliation or to give him a piece of your mind. Let him know you've pondered on his text the reason you've taken time in responding. Let him know even though you're in a relationship, you can't ignore your family as they are part of your life as he is. I know you're hurting considering how long you've been together. However, for him to throw such insulting words at you shows he lacks respect for you. If you would like to get back with him or not, let him know you'll accept his proposal that you won't call or text him. It will be hard to restrain yourself from contacting him but in time you'll get used to it. Tell him even though he has insulted you, you won't retaliate in anger or insult him. If he doesn't want to be with you it's alright. In time you'll find your foot though your enjoyed your time together. Wish him all the best and thank him for the things you shared together. My bf broke up with me and told he he was no longer happy and he wanted freedom. He is currently in law school and give him as much time and space to study. I honestly thought he was going to be my husband. I helped him economically with everything and I feel like now since he is getting a loan he wants to put me on the side leave and have his fun. While breaking up with me he said horrible things about my self esteem and how everything was my fault and I needed to change. It is evident he wants it which will only create more problems in the relationship. By sleeping with your friend shows he does not respect you and you are blocking him from satisfying what he desires. If you have tried to talk to him after he called quits but you feel he is not responding positively then you should cease any contact with him. During this period reflect whether you should move on with your life or try once to tell him you do love him but do not want a polygamous family. A month of no contact will help. After this period approach him. If he does not respond positively decide to move on. It is better to remain single than being in such a relationship. My husband of 4 years broke up with me because i dont want polygamy,the problem is that i agreed at first but then we have tried dating 2 girls and it was hard and whenever i told him he would stop or brush it off for a month to say he doesnt need it he was only teasing. Maybe it is how you talk with your or his male friends. Re-evaluate how you act or speak in various settings or situation and see whether they are the reasons your boyfriend thinks you are cheating on him; and try to work on changing such behaviors or atttitudes if they are not good. Tell him, not emotionally, that you are not unfaithful towards him. Do not engage in war of words that what you are saying is the truth. Let him know how much he is hurting you by stating what is not a fact - an action that you are not doing because you have committed yourself in the relationship. After the end of conversation do not try to justify any other time you are not faithful again. It is up to him to make his mind to believe or not. Some reasons that lead to break ups aren't usually justified because they are not reasonable as is in your case. If you have tried to talk to him about it but he doesn't respond or offer a positive response there are two things left: 1 Compose a text about your relationship with him as you have indicated here and how you don't want to be apart from him and how much he means to you. Also let him know about his jealousy which is unfounded as you love him unconditionally. Additionally if you feel strong to say this why not tell him if it is jealousy that has led to him considering breaking up with you, it is not a mature manner of arriving at such a decision because it translates to mistrust. If he considers ending the relationship because of such a decision, you will not push on. You will accept the decision because there is nothing else you can try to convince him how much you love him or there is nothing between you and one of the boys and that he means a lot to you. It will be difficult to say it but there is nothing more you what to say during a break up do though it will hurt the more when you tell him so. Let him know it will hurt a lot when he makes his decision to dump you because of his jealousy. It will give both of you time to consider various things about the relationship and the two of you. It will hurt a lot when you are not communicating with him. It is what he has asked of you. During the silence he might respond or not. You should exercise no contact rule for a minimum of 2 weeks. He might respond positively or break up with you during the silence period. But, the silence will afford you the opportunity to think about the relationship and come up with a decision of what to do next. I really mean it when I say I have found the one, and no-one will love me like he does. I don't know what to do pleas help. I just can't handle this anymore. I didn't know that he is going to end this because of this stupid jealousy. Samuel, in the age we are living financial instability is one of the major causes of relationship breakups and divorces. You have been in a relationship for long and it does hurt especially considering she ended the relationship because you're no longer financially stable. For your lady to dump because of money issue, it is evident she didn't have true love for you. While financial stability is important in a relationship, just because now you're not doing well financially is the reason for her to end the relationship. Those are years wasted considering also she doesn't know what she wants in life and in the relationship. Possibly, you'll get one who will stick with you through thick and thin. My ex just broke up with me last month we have been in a long term relationship for 3 years 8 months. In order to move on you've to accept you did hurt her. After admitting to yourself you did hurt her, you need to forgive yourself for that act and ask her for forgiveness. Asking her to forgive you is not so as to reconcile but to have peace of mind, both for you and her. You need to give her time to recollect herself as she's made clear she'll be ready the following year. Thus, reduce communication with her. Let your conversations, if it's impossible to avoid, be on a basic level. Engage yourself in activities that will keep your mind off from thinking about her. It might be a good idea to unfriend her from your online social network. Lastly, be grateful for being in a relationship with her. Appreciate her and try to improve your personality to become a better you. Neils, it is a fact no one man or woman can romantically love two people equally. It is not the same as brotherly love. Between the two of you, she was loving one person more than the other. She said it was you but from your description, it is evident she loves the other man more than you. This is evident in the change of her attitude towards you. She feels you were the cause of the breakup between her and her boyfriend. For now you need to take things slowly. She's having some feelings for him and you, and the fact is you cannot share a lady with another man. You need to take a break from the relationship. You're feeling pain resulting from the betrayal and the fact she's not yet over that man. Let her know you need a break from the relationship. You need time away from the relationship to heal your wounded heart and settle your mind. You need time away from her to think clearly about the relationship without letting emotions dictate what to think. But, for someone to engage in another relationship with another person while she is still in a relationship with someone is lack of respect and shows that love is lacking. Blaming you for the breaking up with her other boyfriend evidenced by her changed attitude towards you is 'an insult to injury. Am in a relationship and both of us loves each other. I personally have never think of cheating on her but all the times, I kept telling her more about relationship and they way i want us to take it. I asked her if she have any side boo, she always told me no. When i came to realized that this girl has been dating with another guy without my knowledge, told her that he will marry her but she said she is not ready for that and still he keeps on prestring her, the very day i know, it was actually sad for me because i have never expect such from her because i love her from my heart. Now She's staying and still going out with both of us but she loves me the more, she later told me what was happening between her and the other guy and she promised to breakup him, after two days she told me she have brokenup with him but her attitude have change towards me. What to say during a break up is the lady i trusted and now am going through sadness, hurt, paining heartatche. My decision right now is to quit, Please i need your advice. I understand what you are going through Ali. It's hard to articulate in words what you're going through. The best you can do for now is to exercise no contact rule, that is, don't talk to her until you've healed. It's good you've deleted the social app. You should try not to think about her. Concentrate on your work and read articles that encourage you. Don't read articles on how to get her back because it will make things worse. If you like listening to songs, don't listen to sad songs. When you no longer feel the pain and the thoughts of her no longer run in your mind, you'll which direction to head to. Cool things down and time will tell which ultimate decision will take as regards to your girlfriend. I dont know what to write because everything i did in reaction is in sheer contradiction with what you have suggested in this article. Two months have been passed and im still bowing to her and trying to convince her to stay with me. Even yesterday, i tried alot to talk but no response from her side, although she was online. Then i deleted the social app on which i used to talk to her frequently and sat back, had some weed and slept. Im in abroad and i dont know what to do in such situation. Idont know what has happened to me, she is all over my nerves and heart and i really miss her every where. But now after reading your article, i have decided that i wont try to talk no matter how worse my situation is. I wish i could hold these decisions for longer time as i have made same decision hundreds of times in past two months, and failed badly. I wish I had read this two weeks ago, before responding to her breakup message. I did not reply in anger, I wanted to take the pressure off of her by expressing my understanding and that I am more the oldschool face-to-face type in these situations. And that oldschool comment caused her to get totally mad at me, as her intention was to let me know in advance should we see each other again. That comment from my side ruined it completely, as I unintentionally attacked her way of communicating the breakup. In her first breakup message she suggested if we could reduce it all a bit. Now I haven't heard from her since 10 days and I fear I won't ever see her again. I feel shattered, we were dating for 2 months and we had such a great connection and now it is all gone. I so much wish I had replied authentically, by expressing my sadness about her message, that I had such a great time with her, respect her decision and wish her all the best. Just like it is suggested above. I am very grateful to you for knowing exactly what I need to read right now. These are amazing: You have so much to give. And: You should know that you deserve wonderful relationships full of love, and that you are capable of achieving them. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is true, Jim, to love someone who doesn't love you is gut wrenching. It is painful, as I have felt it when my ex-girlfriend told a friend of mine she never loved me. She said it was her friend who forced her to love me - mind me, she did in fact love me. However, the pain never lasts if you'll take positive what to say during a break up to ensure you heal from the breakup. It is good to know you've accepted the situation you're in though it's painful what you're going through. I was in the same boat but as days go by the pain will ease. You are right, It's worth the pain, and I'm grateful for everything. It takes two people to make a relationship work. It only takes one person to end a relationship. There is no reason to pursue someone who doesn't want you. The person breaking up with you offers to be friends because they don't want to feel like the bad guy. The person being dumped hopes that by being friends there may be a chance they can get back together. Odds are if they do hookup it will be nothing more than a booty call or friends with benefits scenario in the eyes of the person who ended the relationship. Your ex is the last person who can help you get over them. You're better off going cold turkey and not dealing with your ex at all for at least a year or more depending on how long the relationship lasted. In order for your ex to be the one they would have had to see you as being the one. At the very least a soul-mate is someone who actually wants to be with you. Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary. Odds are in everyone's favor that there are hundreds, thousands, or possibly millions of people who would love and appreciate us. Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you. Every ending is a new beginning!.

Man, a lot of these are rough and yet, I have heard a lot of them! Then, start the slow process of forgiving them and moving on with your life. A break-up is an opportunity to learn, too. Be clear about the time and energy you have for listening. Invite an old friend out to coffee.